The feeling of Caring-loving...

“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.”

When I look at myself these days, I feel that there must be something goes wrong in my life. Is it my fault to have such unnatural feeling and uncontrollable feeling? It is not because I am being abnormal but in fact there is the reaction of loving feeling today.

“When I took into her eyes, it seems all problems in the world go away and I am floating in the mid-air. When I see she is having problems, I really wish to borrow my shoulders for her; when I see she is in the cross conjunction, I wish I could show my hands and bring her out of the darkness and confuse.”

This is because of the loving feeling, but it is not because the feeling of In Love. When I am right being falling in love with you, I just have my emotion contacted with you and so I always observe your action. You have attracted my mind, but you are yet to drag my heart to tender my feeling of love.

But, I stopped myself from taking any action here though I have such good feeling on you. I stopped it because I believe you could always have a better choice in life. I am not a good candidate for you, I know. I am not a good caring taker, I know. Oh no! I think there is not a solid reason for me to escape from the feeling.

Based on the past experience, I think it is better for me to keep with its relationship as friendship. It is better for me to keep the feeling as brother and sister. I dare not to chase her, until the time I have really stabilized in my financial status. Maybe, and it is because I don’t want to hurt anyone in the world again because I know my abilities at this moment. I am ready to begin a new relationship yet I still don’t have the courage to start it. I am afraid, I am afraid that I will be rejected after I have told her too. But, the most important reason is because I choose to put the priority of stabilizing my financial status, building up a career and providing a sweet home for the future of her. If and so I achieve the criteria above, then I will start my relationship.

When you have experienced the past, you will really be alert in choosing the best for you and the best candidate for you. You need time, I need time and so we could only stand up again to welcome the new life or new relationship. But, if you ask me what to choose for between the new and old one, I think I will tell you that I prefer the Mocha feeling.

Anyway, if I am ready take out my courage then I think I would tell her about my feeling on her one day.

BERLIN ROME VIENNA